Oct 17 2011

Unrequited Love

Published by at 1:00 am under Uncategorized

When I see you my heart skips a beat
I hide my feelings and try to keep it discrete.
But it’s too much to bear, even for me
I want to tell you we were meant to be

I just know we would make the perfect team
But everything is nothing more then a simple dream.
How I wish you could see what lies in my heart
Even this poem I write is nothing more then art

A simple drawing of our love without end
But to you, I’m nothing more then just a friend
In the end it’s all just a one-sided love
But one of these days, I know you’ll become my dove.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

6 responses so far

6 Responses to “Unrequited Love”

  1.   michelleon 17 Oct 2011 at 3:30 pm

    I love reading your poem. I, myself wrote a poem similar to yours, talking about the love i have for someone and hoping it would be more than that. This is just a regular poem right?, it doesnt seem like a sonnet to me, but your rhyming scheme is great. Good Job 🙂

  2.   Steve Mendozaon 17 Oct 2011 at 4:19 pm

    For a regular poem, it’s not bad.

    It makes me feel warm inside.

    Your not just a friend for me, your awesome.

    Of course with your writing.

  3.   Pruon 17 Oct 2011 at 7:41 pm

    love the poem it has a nice rhyming scheme 🙂 I love the line “Even this poem I write is nothing more then art” great job

  4.   kathleenon 18 Oct 2011 at 3:59 pm

    i definitely think that love poems are your strong suit. i enjoyed reading both of your poems, they’re so good!

  5.   jenny abeleson 18 Oct 2011 at 8:10 pm

    unrequited love is an age-old theme in love poetry, so it can be very difficult to treat it in a different way. root out all cliches (i.e. “my heart skips a beat”) and aim for original way of expressing your experience! One way to do this is to write a poem in response to one written on the subject–intertextuality.

  6.   Rafal Borynskion 19 Oct 2011 at 5:53 am

    Wow Margarita , I am truly enamored by the bittersweet tone of your poems , of longing for someone that may be only a few bus seats away or sometimes even a close friend yet seems almost unattainable on a more romantic level. If it helps , being trapped in the matrix of emotions and complex relationships where there is only so much mobility within the range of normalcy while still looking for the best in every situation is something that we all have to go through. In your blogs, the this theme of longing is addressed within the framework of being on the bus. If it is not you longing , than it is your friend longing for the girls that he attempts to impress but ultimately only embarrasses himself in front of. As you move onto poetry, you express more directly and are able to use more imagery such as “Time’s been frozen in the dead of winter/ I try to break through from beneath the sea/ But the waves swallow me and I whimper/ The dark blue sea washed me up to the shore” than you do in your non-fictional works, and while your first four non-fiction blogs were in themselves rather fantabulous , I found your poetry to leave a more lasting impact on me personally. I particularly admire the two conflicting emotions you have towards (well, I guess I don’t admire the emotions themselves , because we all have those emotions , but what I admire is how you manage to express those emotions). “When I see you my heart skips a beat/ I hide my feelings and try to keep it discrete “. Pure bittersweet beauty.
    Literature is based on progression , as any other art form , or any aspect of this world for that matter. You seem to be frozen in that moment of tremendous longing, yet simultaneously you cease to do anything about it because you seem to have convinced yourself that what you are longing for is out of reach. All of your work on this blog in one form or another is essentially you frozen in that moment. From a literary perspective , it would be exquisite to in real life to try and break out of that ice and reflect on it your work , maybe to try and talk to that boy on the bus or even to try to tell that close friend how feel about him. The emotions you would feel in making that transition such as awkwardness and catharsis would surely add some spunk to your writing . I do not mean to give you advice as I myself am far from an expert in such manners, but it seems to me you are frozen in that feeling of self- imposed longing that you feel is unreachable and the only way to get some sort of closure to that longing is to try to reach what you long for, which would correlate to you being able to progress and move on from that feeling of longing ( at least judging from my personal experience). There is a song by the great Bob Dylan called “Visions of Johanna” which to me is very similar to your writing. Its basically him walking around in the nighttime longing for the unreachable and describing what he sees, with his longing for Johanna influencing every one of those descriptions. Its quite brilliant, just like your work . You should listen to it. Keep writing , you’re good at it .

Trackback URI | Comments RSS

Leave a Reply

Spam prevention powered by Akismet

Skip to toolbar