Oct 31 2011


Published by at 1:04 am under Uncategorized

The actual poem of the week. Dedicated to an awsome book.  Feels like one big cliche tho…

We live in sin, you and I
From their eyes we must hide
To the world we must lie
From fear they will condemn our love affair
Bounded forever by the labels that we wear
Brother, I call thee
Sister, you call me
Your warmth that I crave is forbidden
These sick feelings wont be forgiven
Underneath the sun’s ray
Its a dangerous game we play
But in the still night
This lust we can no longer fight
Coveted by darkness I expose my naked soul
And by the moon’s shadow we’ve become whole
Yet a grave mistake we have made
By our kin we’ve been betrayed

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Forbidden”

  1.   samanthaon 31 Oct 2011 at 2:29 am

    Incest! have never seen a poem about incest before. I thought it was well done. The tone feels old, like medevil times or something..Maybe because you use the word ‘thee’..What book is this inspired by..just wondering. Not that I like reading about incest or anything haha

  2.   margaritaon 31 Oct 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Samantha, the book is called Forbidden (I used that title for my poem) and its by Tabitha Suzuma.

  3.   jenny abeleson 01 Nov 2011 at 9:32 pm

    did you have an inspired week or what, margarita? i love the impulse that drove you to just “try something out”; that is the spirit of invention that a poet should aim to be familiar with. and much of the work you’ve produced this week looks like promising material to continue working with. the theme of “forbidden” love is a cliche, sure, but you can undermine what’s expected of this cliche through your language, and of course there are not many odes to incest being written, so that’s another surprising, cliche-defeating aspect.

    I like how you responded to rafal’s critique, and i’m so glad you found it helpful.

  4.   cwilkersonon 02 Nov 2011 at 5:48 pm

    i havent read the book that you dedicate this poem to so maybe this comment is pointless and or lost. but the vibe i get from reading this is that the speaker loves the involvement in incest more than loving her brother incestuously. “These sick feelings wont be forgiven” sick feelings make me think she is striving for a veil of guilt or individuality with taboo actions rather than expressing the love she has for her brother, it seems like your struggling to be in her shoes which is expected, i am sure she is struggling in her own. maybe extend this poem by justifying her actions and emotions so they appear normal and not sick.

    also, in class we wrapped up poetry by analyzing and discussing the abstract qualities of the poems we were to read. then moved forward to short story also discussing abstraction, narrator point of view and the relationship of the speaker with the audience.

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