Nov 15 2011

Responsibilities

Published by at 1:15 am under Uncategorized

Everything seemed like a blur as she looked out the window of the bus. Everything’s a blur in her head. Automatic voice comes on “Please step away from the door”. She backs up and rests her head on the pole she’s holding.
Not even the door wants me next to it.
There were only three more stops till she gets off and heads to work.
Work…to shovel snow at 4 am in this freezing weather.
The girl looked depleted. She had so much on her plate, so many responsibilities put on her shoulder; so much to do for a 19 year old girl.
I should be sleeping, waiting for my alarm to ring so I can start getting ready for school. Doesn’t look like I’m going to class…again.
She stares out the window wishing she was just back home. At this state, she could sleep through anything, but she had to stay awake. She needed to work, to make money, she needed to take care of Max and Brian.
It’s amazing how I haven’t failed out of any of my classes. Guess doing the bare minimum actually keeps me from getting that dreaded F.
“Dorothy st” is boomed out of the speakers of the bus. The announcement jolts her up out of her haze. She presses the yellow tape to get out on her stop.
Being Dorothy doesn’t sound too bad right now. Would love to play around with old looking children, psychotic monkeys, bitchass lions, tinmen and scarecrows. Everyone wanted to be with Dorothy. Doesn’t sound to be bad…to be wanted.
The bus jerks to a stop. Luckily the girl had perfected her bus/train posture to keep from falling. She’s been on public transportation enough to know how to avoid falling over. If standing, firm grip on whatever you’re holding and legs apart at a slight angle. She puts her hand to the backdoor to push it open but it doesn’t want to budge. Anger builds up in her and makes her face slightly red. “Backdoor!” The bus driver pushes the button to open the door for her. As she steps out into the blistering cold she wraps her scarf around her head to cover her mouth and nose firmly and puts on her monkey hat and then hood to complete, what she called, her eskimo look.
Damn door! You’d think I’d learn by now to go to the front of the bus. Not even, the freaking drivers can see there are people at the back door. They should automatically press the button cuz they know we’re gonna be yelling at them to open it anyway, seeing as IT NEVER OPENS!
She continues walking to get to the school she’s been working at. She’s only a few blocks away from warmth until she has to come back out to start shoveling the walkways, stairs leading to the main doors and the entire backyard. This is the third time this week she’s had to come and shovel. She likes the pay when it snows since she gets paid double but missing school, losing sleep, barely eating isn’t what she wanted to keep doing.
All this shoveling is gonna have me looking like an old woman sooner rather later. There’s so much snow, it’s up to my knees. God I just want to get this over with.
She keeps walking as she tries to hold back the tears. She doesn’t want to be looking all puffy when she sees everyone at work, especially her best friend Silvia. Anything she needed Silvia was always there to help her out. Silvia fed her, gave her old clothes she didn’t wear and gave her extra cash here and there if she needed it. The girl appreciated everything she did but was never willing to open up to her about what was going on with her and the boys. She didn’t need to burden her with the load she’s been given because that would be exactly what Silvia would do. She would find out and want to help as much as possible even if she herself had a lot of shit going on. No. The girl was going to keep a strong face.
Just 1 block away and she’d be at the school. With all the snow, it was taking her 20 minutes to walk a few blocks rather than the normal 5.
It’s like walking in fucking quicksand. I hope Silvia has that coffee waiting for me.
She continues to trek her way through the snow when she notices a man on the corner smoking. The man looks white with a sullen face. He’s tall, chubby and only wearing a sweater.
All that fat he’s accumulated throughout his life is probably keeping him warm.
She’s a few feet away from him when he tells her in harsh, trying to sound suave, voice “Hey mamacita, Looking good today.”
You can barely see my face with me having it covered the way I do, let alone my body in this puffy ass jacket. I’m looking good! You dumb idiot, yea you’re gonna be ignored.
He stares at her while she passes him, completely ignoring his existence. All of sudden she jerked back and falls on her back. The man had grabbed her and was standing right above her. “I was talking to you bitch. I just gave you a compliment and you wanna ignore me. The polite thing to do is say thank you.” The girl just looks like at him and says nothing. She’s been harassed before,and has dealt with it fine, besides it’s expected around this time. She wasn’t going to let this guy scare her. She turns so she could use her hands to get up off the floor. “Alright, fine. Thanks. Now leave me alone.” As she’s trying to push herself up, the man plants his feet on her back and pushes her hard unto the icy covered pavement. Her face hits a block of ice in the snow and opened a wound right above her left eyebrow. She’s bleeding profusely.
No. This can’t happen to me. Please no….

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