Dec 07 2011

Responsibilities (finale)

Published by at 3:10 pm under Uncategorized

Snow falls through the open door on the face of the battered girl still unconscious. Her jeans and underwear are around her ankles, her shirt is ripped leaving her bra showing, her right breast is out of the bra. The only thing she is still wearing is her jacket which is wide open exposing her naked body. A gust of wind comes through the door bringing in storm of snow hitting the girl like needles. Her eyelashes flushes flutter, the needles brought her back. Dazed, she opens her eyes slowly and looks at her surroundings. Groggily she attempts to get up to a sitting position. She stares out the door seeing that it is still snowing and realizes she’s freezing. Looking down at herself, she sees her bare body. She stares and stares, not wanting to believe what has happened. She knows what this means. A tear, one single tear rolls down her cheek. Not one thought is going through her mind; just pure silence is heard throughout her head.
The sound of a horn brings her back to reality. She wipes her tear away.
I need to get up. I need to go to work. This is nothing new. Same situation, different guy. This…this is nothing. This is nothing.
Her body is completely numb. She barely feels any of her injuries. As she is already standing, she bends down to pull up her pants and underwear. A gasp escapes her mouth. The pain of her cracked ribs finally hits her. With one arm she holds her ribs and the other she pulls up her pants. Breathing hard she continues to cover up as much as possible. She wraps her torn up shirt around herself and zippers up her jacket. She realizes she’s missing her scarf and hat and looks around the floor.
The scarf was towards the back of the room, swept by the winds coming through the open door. She shuffles toward the back of the room and gradually leans down to pick it up and come back up. The girl brings up the scarf to cover her bruised face as much as possible. Once she was sure the scarf was secured she continued to look for her hat. There was no sign of the hat. To this she started sobbing.
Where’s my hat? Where’s my fucking hat?! She grasped the wall for support. She was feeling herself crumble. Everything was finally hitting her. It was overwhelming. I can’t take care of the boys, can’t take care of myself, can’t fucking take care of the last thing Alex gave me. I can’t do anything. I’m worthless, just like he said…he always had it right. Alex always told me I was something special, will be something great. Never should have believed him. He…he was always right. Alex told me not to listen to him but… he was right, always right.
After a few minutes had passed, her crying had subsided. Her scarf had gotten wet from all her tears and snot but there was nothing she could do. She had to hide her face, the bruises from Silvia and everyone else at work. She couldn’t report this. There would be too many questions from the police that she did not, could not answer.
Why are you out so late? Where do you live? Who are your parents? Can you call one of them to pick you up? No. They’ll find me and take the boys away. I’ll never let them touch us again. They are not our parents anymore. I’m all Max and Brian have now. Instead of their sister, I’m their mom, I’m their dad. Alex isn’t here anymore to protect us. It’s only me. I need to…to go to work. Max and Brian need me, need the money. Nothing happened, I can…can keep on going…for them.
She looked up and started breathing in through her nose, out through her mouth to stop herself from crying again. As long as she did everything slow, no one would notice anything.
I’m covered completely, except for my eyes. I can pull this off. I can do this.
The numbness started to go away, she was getting warmer but it was replaced by pain. Her battered body began to feel everything little by little. Though it hurt her, she tried to stand as straight as possible. She walked out the basement door and made her sluggish climb up the stairs and commenced her walk, dragging her feet, to the school. It was just a block away now which she was very thankful for.
“She’ll be here, now stop pestering me and go to work. Traffic must be crazy outside because of the snow which is probably why she’s late” Silvia, agitated, told Kevin. She and Kevin had been shoveling the snow outside for an hour by themselves wondering where the girl was. Silvia was getting really worried. It wasn’t like the girl to be late at all. She was always on time and always saying yes to any available shifts that no one else wanted. Silvia knew she wouldn’t miss a chance for work knowing she has to feed the boys. Silvia couldn’t believe the girl, being 19, goes to school, work and takes care of her 8 and 10 year old brothers. After their older brother died, the job of taking care of the boys fell on her. “As soon as she gets here I’ll…” she sees the girl looking aimlessly for them in the backyard. Silvia looks directly at Kevin “Seeeeee! She’s here, now go to a corner and shovel. Don’t bother her! She’s here so just let her do her job.” Even though he’s the boss, Kevin almost always listens to Silvia. He turned red and left with a huff.
Slowly the girl makes her way to Silvia. “Where have you been? Is everything ok?” “Yea, I am. I’m sorry I’m late; the snow was crazy to the point where the bus got stuck a few times. Is Kevin mad at me?” the girl asked weakly.

“Don’t worry bout Kevin, I’ll take care of him. You sure you’re ok? You don’t sound well.”

“I’m fine. Let me get to work before Kevin gets on me.” She grabs a shovel from the wall and struggles to a section Kevin and Silvia has not touched and starts to shovel. The girl was already weak, she was slowly losing the little strength she had left. She had barely gotten started when she was already losing her breath.
You gotta finish. Forget what happened. Forget it, you’re ok.
She feels herself about to cough and covers her mouth as she has a coughing fit. Looking down at her hand, she sees it covered in blood. She’s shocked.
I’m ok, it’s nothing. I’m completely fine. I’m fine.
She continues her shoveling.
She gets poked on the side of her broken ribs. Then girl screams, both because of the pain and the flashback of the attack. She was surprised and didn’t know it was Silvia. “Girl calm down. Didn’t you hear me calling you, I was yelling like crazy?” Anything that wasn’t right next to her she could barely hear. Then again she wasn’t paying attention to anything. She wanted to finish and leave. She could barely stand up. “Sorry Silvi. I wasn’t paying attention. I’m just so tired.”

“You really don’t look too well. Imma give you a ride home. Come on, let’s go. The boys are waiting for you anyway. You should have been home by now.” Silvia is taking the shovel from the girl while holding her arm to keep her steady. The girl was very wobbly and seemed to be about to drop at any moment. “You guys are already done! I haven’t even finished my section.” She had her head down the whole time and had not noticed that Silvia had finished the rest of her section.

“It’s done already. Let’s go. You’re not well. I already clocked you out. Come on, to the car we go.” Silvia put her hand on the small of the girl’s back to support her. The girl could barely stand now.
I barely did anything. I feel like I was only there for five minutes. Did I pass out or something. How much time had passed? It was already morning. I just wanna go home. I’m so tired, so tired.
They walked to Silvia’s yellow beetle volkswagon. By now Silvia was half-carrying the girl to the car. She was extremely worried. She had to get her home, then after that she’ll go out and get some food for her and the boys. They got to the car and the girl started coughing again into her hand. More blood. She had wiped it on her black jacket so Silvia wouldn’t notice. Silvia put her in the front passenger seat and buckled her in. She made sure the door was closed and continued to the driver’s seat. “Ok. You just go to sleep alright. Just rest your head and we’ll be at the motel soon. I’ll wake you up when we get there ok. Go to sleep Sweetie.” She started the car and they were on their way to the motel where the girl lived with the boys.
Silvia had offered her place to live in but the girl didn’t want to bother her. She wanted to make it on her own with the boys. It was her responsibility and no one else’s. The girl rested her head on the window and closed he eyes. She was turning very pale and cold. The heater that Silvia turned on ha no effect. Her body didn’t even have the strength to quiver. She didn’t sleep but just thought of how she got to this point and started to silently cry.
My own father, my dad started all this. Touching me was one thing, I was use to it but when he went after the boys…I just couldn’t stay quiet. With Alex around he would have never have tried anything but when Alex left us to fight in the war he left us defenseless. He never came back and left us on our own. Left the boys as fresh meat. I thought mothers were always and forever. We are, we’re her children and when I told her the truth about dad she didn’t believe me. Called me a liar. Her drinking didn’t help anything either. Getting touched by my father, being abused by mother. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to go and take the boys with me. It was the right thing to do…wasn’t it? My reasoning made sense…didn’t it?
Silvia was stopped at a red light. They were almost to the motel. She started coughing fit again. This time she did not have the strength to even attempt to somehow cover the blood. The blood splattered on the window and car door, it went right through her scarf. Silvia looked over and stared at the scene. “Oh my god! Angel! Angel, are you ok? Angel, answer me.” Silvia yelled in hysterics as she put the car in park in the middle of the street, still waiting at the traffic light, and unbuckled her seatbelt to get to Angel. She reached over to Angel, taking off her hood and scarf. Silvia saw all the bruises and wounds on her face, blood and tears covering it. “Angel, oh my god! God, Angel what happened to you? ” Silvia was stroking her head and started to cry. Angel could barely hear anything. She whispered to Silvia “I’m so sorry. Tell them I’m sorry. I tried. I tried.” She was dying, and she knew it.
I failed. Always a failure. Just like Dad always said. Never amount to anything. Take care of them Silvi. Take care of them.
Silvia had reached her phone to dial 911 and had not noticed that Angel had passed. She was sobbing uncontrollably on the phone with the 911 operator. “Please, I need an ambulance. My friend is hurt. We’re at….” The traffic light had turned green. Cars had started beeping their horns. Silvia’s cries and car horns were heard throughout the area.

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One response so far

One Response to “Responsibilities (finale)”

  1.   cwilkersonon 08 Dec 2011 at 2:41 am

    margarita, youve put angel right where i wish she ended up.. back at work.. though i dont see shoveling snow plausible with broken ribs.. but perhaps maybe even clearly it is angels character and nature to carry on her responsibilities. her thoughts concerning the incident are approaching spot on with rape victims.. lost in thoughtlessness or concerned about the most unimportant things such as the where abouts of her monkey hat. i kinda dont like that she is dead though.. i kinda wanted to see her live or at least have you end this in a way that this is just another serving of shit she has to cope with.. not that i want to see her suffer but overcome all of these obstacles.

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